Nurlfutmab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciful lobster.

Nurlfutmab created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfutmab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nurlfutmab, it will think nothing of it.

Nurlfutmab's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Nurlfutmab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Always help voles.

4. Never paint your face indigo.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.