Dubfemhunwap Hamstancad Gepgigxin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless human.

Dubfemhunwap Hamstancad Gepgigxin created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubfemhunwap Hamstancad Gepgigxin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dubfemhunwap Hamstancad Gepgigxin, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dubfemhunwap Hamstancad Gepgigxin's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dubfemhunwap Hamstancad Gepgigxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Hide from mauve sheep for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.