Zagflisquam is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, clever guinea pig.

Zagflisquam created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagflisquam, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zagflisquam, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zagflisquam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Zagflisquam's Holy Commandments

1. Zagflisquam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Always wear white.