Flappassis Quamdagbog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient hippopotamus.

Flappassis Quamdagbog created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flappassis Quamdagbog, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flappassis Quamdagbog, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Flappassis Quamdagbog's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Flappassis Quamdagbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five mites in a large pit.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing blue hats and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

5. Always wash your chest before prayer.