Botwitqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, omniscient ferret.

Botwitqueeg created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botwitqueeg, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Botwitqueeg, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Botwitqueeg's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Botwitqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near otters while wearing red dresses.

2. You must pray to Botwitqueeg nine times a day.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never paint your back fawn.