Xucyoktadkon is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unthinking deer.

Xucyoktadkon created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucyoktadkon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xucyoktadkon, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Xucyoktadkon's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Xucyoktadkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention capybaras.

2. Run away if seven great tits approach from the east.

3. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.