Tafsafhamyattstan is a god.
He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless
giraffe.
Tafsafhamyattstan created Africa three quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tafsafhamyattstan, he will grant you eternal life.
If you do not believe in
Tafsafhamyattstan, he will refuse to believe in you.
Tafsafhamyattstan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.
Tafsafhamyattstan's Holy Commandments1. Never feed peas to tapirs while wearing hats.
2. Never play with disobedient children.
3. Do not covet oxen.
4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.
5. Put Tafsafhamyattstan first in all things.