Jabnarlort is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, bad-tempered crab.

Jabnarlort created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabnarlort, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jabnarlort, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jabnarlort's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jabnarlort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from lead.

2. Never paint your neck magenta.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never feed apples to bats while wearing corsets.