Nakhakwot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering mouse.

Nakhakwot created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakhakwot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nakhakwot, she will refuse to believe in you.

Nakhakwot's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nakhakwot's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nakhakwot.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never allow porpoises to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Nakhakwot loves goats, so they must be respected.