Vigtimmipmet is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, proud butterfly.

Vigtimmipmet created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vigtimmipmet, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vigtimmipmet, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vigtimmipmet's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Vigtimmipmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near turtles while wearing brown rings and balancing six iron spheres on your face.

2. Always wear green.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Vigtimmipmet must be the most important thing in your life.