Gongebhaspog is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable dove.

Gongebhaspog created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gongebhaspog, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gongebhaspog, he will remove you from existence.

Gongebhaspog's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gongebhaspog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Gongebhaspog loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Never talk about horses.