Dobmipfid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonourable unicorn.

Dobmipfid created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobmipfid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dobmipfid, she will turn you into a frog.

Dobmipfid's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dobmipfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobmipfid.

3. Do not speak about wheat.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.