Narttettiban is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, ill-tempered pigeon.

Narttettiban created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Narttettiban, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narttettiban, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Narttettiban's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Narttettiban's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Never wear purple ear rings on sacred days.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.