Ontwikfentim is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, happy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ontwikfentim created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontwikfentim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ontwikfentim, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ontwikfentim's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ontwikfentim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Erect three iron sculptures of Ontwikfentim on top of important buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must love Ontwikfentim.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontwikfentim.