Bognellbum is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, intelligent fairy.

Bognellbum created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bognellbum, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bognellbum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bognellbum's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bognellbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed lemons to aardvarks while wearing red tights.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near ducks while wearing pink scarves.

5. Never talk about bats.