Larpbidgilwanvan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, irritating fly.

Larpbidgilwanvan created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Larpbidgilwanvan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Larpbidgilwanvan, she will turn you into a plant.

Larpbidgilwanvan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Larpbidgilwanvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Do not prepare melons while wearing kilts.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Do not name children after bats.