Begstervab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, capable wyrm.

Begstervab created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Begstervab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Begstervab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Begstervab's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Begstervab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after rats.

2. Worship no other gods but Begstervab.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Never feed lots of spinach to snails while wearing indigo trousers.

5. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.