Pakdonontjig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, uncaring squirrel.

Pakdonontjig created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakdonontjig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pakdonontjig, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Pakdonontjig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Pakdonontjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Pakdonontjig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Pakdonontjig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.