Babtabkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous zebra.

Babtabkab created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Babtabkab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Babtabkab, he will send minions to preach to you.

Babtabkab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Babtabkab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Run away from orange cats, for they are unholy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Babtabkab.

5. Never write about moons.