Yatspagbig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, omnipotent squid.

Yatspagbig created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatspagbig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yatspagbig, it will refuse to believe in you.

Yatspagbig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Yatspagbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with white.

2. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

3. Do not kill foxes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.