Spaggabwon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise spider.

Spaggabwon created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spaggabwon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Spaggabwon, he will be very sad.

Spaggabwon's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Spaggabwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hop in the presence of ducks.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Spaggabwon.

5. Never eat bark.