Japbugtin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, boastful spider.

Japbugtin created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbugtin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Japbugtin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Japbugtin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Japbugtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Put Japbugtin first in all things.