Kenkimtomtag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unfair spider.

Kenkimtomtag created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenkimtomtag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kenkimtomtag, it will not care at all.

Kenkimtomtag's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Kenkimtomtag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never prepare onions during spring.

3. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.