Xemyarlrilnill is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, deceitful centipede.

Xemyarlrilnill created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemyarlrilnill, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xemyarlrilnill, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Xemyarlrilnill's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Xemyarlrilnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Xemyarlrilnill loves snakes, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Xemyarlrilnill loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.