Narlkemteen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, vain faun.

Narlkemteen created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlkemteen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Narlkemteen, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Narlkemteen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Narlkemteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt great tits.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not covet oxen.