Lidmifwik is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty jackal.

Lidmifwik created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Lidmifwik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lidmifwik, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lidmifwik's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Lidmifwik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Do not keep eight swans in a large pit.

5. Never feed garlic to seals while wearing blue shorts.