Jadpadtalbam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, witless beaver.

Jadpadtalbam created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jadpadtalbam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jadpadtalbam, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jadpadtalbam's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jadpadtalbam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Jadpadtalbam loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed cucumbers to voles while wearing jumpers.