Farnlamgambemyar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring raccoon.

Farnlamgambemyar created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnlamgambemyar, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Farnlamgambemyar, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Farnlamgambemyar's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Farnlamgambemyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shorts marked with purple.

2. Never sprint in summer.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.