Cinlamdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, temperamental squid.

Cinlamdoss created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinlamdoss, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cinlamdoss, it will be very sad.

Cinlamdoss' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cinlamdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Never gather three sharks in one place.