Homyarpgen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient tortoise.

Homyarpgen created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homyarpgen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Homyarpgen, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Homyarpgen's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Homyarpgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

2. Never wear fawn ear rings.

3. Do not keep six foxes in a large pit.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.