Nillqueegxem is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, clever lizard.

Nillqueegxem created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillqueegxem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nillqueegxem, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nillqueegxem's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nillqueegxem's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nillqueegxem.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Do not prepare turnips while filled with fear.

5. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.