Maparpman is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful swallow.

Maparpman created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Maparpman, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Maparpman, he will curse you with boils.

Maparpman's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Maparpman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not prepare pineapples while wearing ear rings.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Do not keep four swans in a large pit.