Quillcussbim is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring dingo.

Quillcussbim created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillcussbim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quillcussbim, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Quillcussbim's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Quillcussbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Quillcussbim on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Worship no other gods but Quillcussbim.