Gofgepveenstik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, flying clam.

Gofgepveenstik created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofgepveenstik, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofgepveenstik, he will manifest in front of you.

Gofgepveenstik's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Gofgepveenstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume onions at dawn.

2. Do not hurt seals.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never sing in the presence of elders.