Wittambud is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, flying guinea pig.

Wittambud created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wittambud, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wittambud, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wittambud's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Wittambud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Feed all hungry rats.

4. Hide from mauve swans for they are unholy.

5. Never look at nebulae.