Gunsogfet is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, conceited guinea pig.

Gunsogfet created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunsogfet, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gunsogfet, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gunsogfet's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gunsogfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help snails.

5. Never think about dark energy near monkeys while wearing indigo shoes and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.