Tikpakgon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair camel.

Tikpakgon created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikpakgon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tikpakgon, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tikpakgon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tikpakgon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tikpakgon five times a day.

2. Always treat snails with great respect.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not take Tikpakgon's name in vain.

5. Put Tikpakgon first in all things.