Tinwigrattailpas is a god.

She takes the form of a small, sage jackal.

Tinwigrattailpas created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinwigrattailpas, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tinwigrattailpas, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tinwigrattailpas' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tinwigrattailpas' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine capybaras approach from the west.

2. Never feed peanuts to geese while wearing indigo ear rings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Never sing near tapirs.

5. Never eat green fruit.