Cuttimxem is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able walrus.

Cuttimxem created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cuttimxem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cuttimxem, he will be very sad.

Cuttimxem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cuttimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not chant in public.