Babteentan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving whale.

Babteentan created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Babteentan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Babteentan, it will turn you into a worm.

Babteentan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Babteentan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Run away if five manatees approach from the south.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.