Stigparkyat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awe-inspiring lizard.

Stigparkyat created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Stigparkyat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stigparkyat, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Stigparkyat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Stigparkyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck turquoise.

2. Always obey Stigparkyat's priests.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not kill dolphins.