Zagcutlun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, stupid naga.

Zagcutlun created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagcutlun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zagcutlun, it will curse you with boils.

Zagcutlun's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zagcutlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think ill of sick birds.