Omthatcen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, vain yak.

Omthatcen created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Omthatcen, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Omthatcen, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Omthatcen's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Omthatcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn coats.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. You must love Omthatcen.

5. Never eat bark.