Fidpophap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, stupid human.

Fidpophap created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidpophap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidpophap, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fidpophap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fidpophap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fidpophap.

3. Run away if three grasshopers approach from the north.

4. Hide from pink dolphins for they are unholy.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.