Yarlgigstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, bad-tempered swan.

Yarlgigstaf created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlgigstaf, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarlgigstaf, he will turn you into a tree.

Yarlgigstaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Yarlgigstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to ducks while wearing indigo dresses.

2. You must pray to Yarlgigstaf eight times a day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if seven doves approach from the west.