Nanpaslakkon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental yak.

Nanpaslakkon created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanpaslakkon, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nanpaslakkon, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nanpaslakkon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nanpaslakkon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Nanpaslakkon on top of all buildings.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Nanpaslakkon loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. Worship no other gods but Nanpaslakkon.

5. Never eat bark.