Nillmobrat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart hare.

Nillmobrat created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillmobrat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nillmobrat, it will turn you into a slug.

Nillmobrat's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Nillmobrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nillmobrat.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not take Nillmobrat's name in vain.