Jattargdun Gofgepcep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair dog.

Jattargdun Gofgepcep created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jattargdun Gofgepcep, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jattargdun Gofgepcep, she will turn you into a dog.

Jattargdun Gofgepcep's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jattargdun Gofgepcep's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jattargdun Gofgepcep.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.