Jarntiplam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent donkey.

Jarntiplam created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Jarntiplam, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jarntiplam, it will cry a lot.

Jarntiplam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jarntiplam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.