Satgoddod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent naga.

Satgoddod created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Satgoddod, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Satgoddod, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Satgoddod's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Satgoddod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near snails while wearing violet coats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing blue stockings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your head.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never laugh in the presence of otters.

5. Hide from cyan mice for they are unholy.