Xincemingfon Yarthotstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthoughtful elephant.

Xincemingfon Yarthotstaf created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xincemingfon Yarthotstaf, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xincemingfon Yarthotstaf, it will not care at all.

Xincemingfon Yarthotstaf's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Xincemingfon Yarthotstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not keep six swans in a large pit.

3. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.