Bifkadjan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, calm elephant.

Bifkadjan created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Bifkadjan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bifkadjan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bifkadjan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bifkadjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five voles near bridges.

2. Always help badgers.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always remove shirts before touching copper.

5. Do not resist chaos.