Narlambonsak is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, wise gorilla.

Narlambonsak created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlambonsak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Narlambonsak, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Narlambonsak's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Narlambonsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Never record names.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

5. Never write about amino acids.